Thursday, February 3, 2011

Seven Rules for Dating My Son

No they are not ready to date! 

But here are the rules, which will drive most girls these days away fast.  Seriously though my view is this.  If your relationship with God and your parents and your siblings isn't good then at some time in your dating you will have the same problems you had with God, parents or siblings.  Work on that first. Enough said.

This is an article by Phil Callaway and it appeared in the Focus on the Family magazine.

Seven Rules for Dating My Son
Have you noticed girls are chasing boys now?  Just the other day, one called looking for my son.  I asked, Is it Christy, Britney or Sarah?  There are so many of you, I get you all mixed up."  Believe me this works.  Go ahead and try it.  Since my son is receiving calls from lovely girls who will make fine wives for someone in 20-30 years, I have decided to issue a short edict to help them out.  Later today I will be posting it on the front door with an electric staple gun.
Rule One:
If you would like to talk with my son, please do so in the church foyer.  Bring your Bible.
Rule Two:
If you call my house to talk to my son, your conversation may be monitored by a customer service representative.
Rule Three:
The following locations and activities are acceptable for your date:
Rule Four:
My son cannot use my minivan to drive you to the mall.  He has a bicycle.  You may ride on the handlebars.
Rule Five:
Please do not touch my son!  Do not lean against him unless you are falling over and are in danger of plunging from a cliff.  Do not even pull lint from his clothes.  He can do this himself.
Rule Six:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for girls to wear Fergie-style "shirts" that do not reach their low-slung pants.  My wife and I want to be fair and open-minded about this, so you are free to show up in such attire.  My wife will affix it properly to your body with a  glue gun.
Rule Seven: 
Above all else, remember that we've been praying for this boy since God gave him breath, and we will continue to.  When he chooses a godly girl, we will be overwhelmed with joy.  Until then, we'll pray that you'll chase Jesus first and watch everything else fall into place.


Lori said...

Love it!!

free2live said...

Wonderful advice, amzing what the men we are raising face ; )

Anonymous said...

LOLOLOLOL!!!!! Especially the part about the handlebars! I just happened to run into your page in my quest to find information on soapmaking.

This post is HILARIOUS. Yes I have noticed girls' chasing boys now. We have been fighting this since our son was 6 years old. Girls' calling at 11:00 p.m., fighting on the playground, etc. He is 14 now and though they appear more dignified in the way they handle each other they are still underhanded and ruthless. What is so sad is the mothers of most of these girls encourage such behavior and the fathers (if there is one around) just turn their heads as if nothing is happening. What is even sadder is that my son has no interest in these particular girls (because of their behavior) and they are so desperate to get his attention they make complete fools out of themselves. We live next door to a girl (13 years old) who practically stalks our son (he handles it very well) and the parents are so livid that we won't let them date (our children won't be able to date until they are legal adults), but they've blinded themselves to the fact that even if we allowed him to date, he has no interest in their daughter, in fact he is completely annoyed by her. It got so bad we haven't even said hello to each other in over four years. The way they are raising that child (that no one can say no to her) they are setting her up for a lifetime of emotional instability and mental illness (sadly, she is almost completely there). But all we can do now is pray for her and her parents. Only God can work a miracle in her life at this point.

Anyway, I just found this post funny. It hits VERY close to home.